things heard in churches in the south

I am sort of a protestant church guru.  (Just kidding. But no, really).  I've been to services of every denomination possible, and in multiple cities in different regions.  Nothing, and I mean nothing, compares to southern churches.  I never cease to be amazed at what I hear as I visit churches through the years.  Here are a few kickers for ya. And thank goodness that God is bigger than humans trying to lead churches!
  • Pastor to congregation, in tone of politician, speaking of himself - "This is some good preaching today. I hope you all are listening." 
  • Pastor to congregation regarding message that (by the way) was incredibly simple - "this is a message for mature audiences. This is deep. Not everyone may take something away today."
  • Pastor to congregation - "I'm looking good today, I got my Easter suit on, hair done." 
  • "I just don't know if her appearance will fit well with this community."

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